You Might be a Metrobilly If...

Okay, yes this is cliche. The obligatory "you know you're a MB if..." However, you mulletheads simply wouldn't let this rest. This one is dedicated to Billy Marrow, who sent me 134 email requests for a Jeff Foxworthy spoof. No doubt, sent from the computer in his mom's basement, in between watching reruns of Sex in the City on his 21" plasma. Smoke 'em if you got 'em Billy, this Bud's for you...

You might be a Metrobilly if...

1. You have memberships at both Sam's Club and Costco, and you've been to both on the same day
2. You recently redecorated your house. Furniture by Crate & Barrel. Singing Billy Bass by Cracker Barrel
3. You once used escargot in a sentence to prove you know what it means (ex. "es car got 4 new tires.")
4. You're at a party and the host offers you a choice between Corona or Bud Light, you ask "are we having steak or fish?"
5. You went to every Nordstrom's in town trying to find your girlfriend a purse that matches your boots
6. You have a framed Mona Lisa over your fireplace, with the face altered to look like Pamela Anderson
7. You cheer for Dale Jr in public, but deep down inside you have a giant mancrush on Jeff Gordon
8. You once wrecked your pickup truck while trying to retrieve a Barry Manilow CD from the floorboard
9. You like your Hamburger Helper with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
   
10. You once walked into Banana Republic wearing a Bass Pro Shop t-shirt, where you found a nice pair of wool-blend pinstriped slacks that go great with your new silk camp shirt